No comparison

Comparing myself to anyone else is dangerous.

I find myself doing it occasionally, even though I know it’s not a good idea, generally unhealthy, and leads me down emotional paths that end in miserable places. It’s difficult to avoid sometimes, especially in the context of relationships or on days when I’m not feeling 100% about myself, my place in the world, and my relationship with God.

Recently I felt insecure and began comparing myself to someone else. I began recounting things I knew about her and comparing myself to her in every possible way, making a list in my head of ways I didn’t quite stack up and wondering if I was “as good” in other ways. I knew she’d once had a relationship with someone I love, and that they’d had a lot in common. Did we have as much in common? Was I as much fun? It didn’t last long–maybe a few minutes–as I sat outside on the porch that morning drinking coffee by myself. Cardinals and chickadees circled around the birdseed and landed on the snowy branches. Other than the sound of my cat crawling toward the birds, I could hear nothing but the noise in my head.

Thankfully, He interrupted my mental checklist of “ways I’m not as good or ways I’m better” and reminded me that we–He and I–have a lot in common. That’s why we’re so close. We both love the world, even people who are broken and imperfect. We both love all the things He’s created and could spend hours just admiring it all together. We want to make everything better and  more beautiful and more whole. We wish we could stop everyone from hurting even if they’re hurting because of the choices they’ve made.

He whispered to me and reminded me that He thinks I’m awesome, priceless, beautiful, and wondrously made. And that I’m special and unique in countless ways. He reminded me of the times He has told me and shown me He loves me that no one else knows about. He told me that I make him laugh all the time.

And there is absolutely nothing I can do and not a person in this entire world who could separate me from Him and His love.

Oh. And He died for me. And came back to life for me.

And nothing compares to that.

4 thoughts on “No comparison

  1. You are a one of a kind girl and shouldn’t compare yourself to others. You are gifted in many ways. I know for me, you have helped me weather some of life’s toughest storms, and I don’t know what I would have done without you—the listening, the loving without criticism or blame, the understanding without judgement, the support without the “I told you so” to follow. You are a great person, a loyal friend, and an exceptional example of someone who cares and loves without conditions.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s