And…

I was overwhelmed this morning on my drive to work by the way God melded together fragments of conversations we’ve been having for the past few months, weeks, and days into one song and just whispered all of it to me within six minutes while I was driving. It was crazy. Crazy, quiet, beautiful, powerful. It made me cry.

Lines of a Peter Abbs sonnet I read Sunday afternoon in the rain. Verses in 1 Samuel I’ve been mulling over for weeks now. A man after God’s own heart, spilling out his love for Him through his dancing, broken feet. My own analytical, critical, allegorical thought process and word-loving mind. The sunshine. This morning, this song was for me. I listened to this song repeatedly, and He whispered something a little bit different to me each time.

“And” by Waterdeep

I am haunted by my love for comparison
My fascination with a single common theme
And I am hounded by the fear that I might be losing it
Slipping from reality into dream

When my mind is muddled by the way it seems to work
I start looking for just one connecting Force
Someone to assure me we that didn’t lose the war today
That the battle’s General’s still riding on his horse

In the mornings when I pray, I’ve often come to You with dreams
Little bits of power that I can’t comprehend
And sometimes I can keep my eyes unclosed for long enough
To see the blowing of a distant steady Wind

The distance doesn’t take too long for You to cover it
And when You reach me, You just blow these things apart
You clear the crowd that’s gathered ’round the crisis of my soul
And whisper to my suffocating heart

And is the juice of the joints of the motion of life
And is the love that is between God and his beautiful wife
And has two hands and two feet and a long, lovely side
And rose three days after he was crucified

So You’re the Force of gravity that I feel pulling at my feet
You’re the Fuel at the center of the sun
And, it’s your Ghost that fills the atmosphere with what we need to breathe
And, everything I’ve ever wondered, You’re the one

Both my hands are stained with blood
And both my lips are stained with tears
From when I kissed the widow of the man I killed
And, yet You’re asking me to swallow Your forgiveness here today
You say the bond required for my pardon’s been fulfilled